I have a problem, my brain stops any kind of logical reasoning when I see colors. I have a bowl full of gems in my fridge. (don’t plan a robbery just yet, I mean gems, the candies) Every time I put my hand in the bowl to get a handful it has random number of button sized chocolates in random colors; now the next step for any normal person would be to start eating but, nuh uh, not in my case. I have to carefully analyze the handful and count the number of colors I have got. Then I spend a full minute to see if I have all the colors and put back the double ones. See I know they all taste the same. But I still can’t eat two of the same color at once.
I have always been this crazy. I have always lived with the basic philosophy ‘if my heart desires it, then it’s not illogical’. Be it games, candy choices or career, my decisions are strongly forced by my desires rather than logic. That is why I plan to be a freelance artist and not a designer at a big firm, this is why my art works have bright unnatural colors rather than aesthetically appreciated ones. This is why I choose to live in the happy wappy world and not the real world.
Since a couple of days I have been working with my dad helping him buy our family a club membership. To put it in a nutshell the deal isn’t happening in our favor and we have already paid them a lot of money. I have been trying to catch hold of the business head via mails but she is downright vicious. While I was complaining about her unfair means to my dad he told me its business and I shouldn’t expect a lot of ethics while at a business meeting.
And this struck a cord somewhere in my brain, a high pitch ear shredding cord. Now that I am about to step in the real world I might have to do a job somewhere under somebody. Will I have to compromise with my ethics too? Will I soon turn into someone who compromises her righteousness for materialistic gains?
Does this happy wappy world I created going to fall apart against the real world? Are all the philosophies we created together here hollow?
The happy wappy world had an earthquake that day. And I am in a dilemma should I leave and find another world or stay here rebuilding the skyscrapers?
Untill I figure it out, bowl of gems anyone?