I am applying for colleges to do my post graduation from. I gave an entrance exam for my favorite college early this year and results just came in the day before. I failed. I will not sugar coat it by saying that I just had a bad luck or that this might be for a greater good. Because I do not see any greater paths yet. I might have to sit home jobless till I reappear for this test next year.
How do I feel? Horrible, would be an understatement. I haven’t been able to sleep for 2 nights. I can not eat the chocolate cake in my fridge because I have this lump of guilt in my throat that just wont go down. I deleted all the songs on my phone because no song had the potential to cheer me up.
Thing is, I am a dreamer; and since 3 months back when I gave the exam I have been dreaming of how things would be WHEN (not if) I got the admission. And I am not talking about dreams like redecorating my hostel room with Doctor Who posters, I am talking about dreaming about selling my sculptures for 1 lack rupees each and then going to Scotland to meet David Tennant and plead him to be the Doctor again. But that single ‘click here for result’ button shattered my 3 months worth of day dreams within a couple of seconds. But that’s OK , I am fine with broken dreams, you know me! I can replenish my dream tank within a week’s time. But I lost some thing way more precious than dreams, Hope.
Now that I am stripped off it, I understand that Hope is important for personal growth. Hope gave me the courage to dream. And Dreams were what made me work hard. Without hope I feel empty and lonely. All my insecurities came rushing back in and I enabled myself to feel sad for me. I am depressed, guilty, insecure and I do not want to face anybody for the rest of my life.
So why am I posting this on the one place I know I would surely be judged for failing? Because I make bad decisions! Also because this blog has a greater purpose to fulfill. My life is a mess right now, and my career just might have ended before starting. But i know there are millions of people out there in exact same situation as I am. They have failed in one way or other and they have lost hope. Truth being told this is how life works, we have failures that we did not expect and we feel like giving up on dreaming. This is where The Happy Wappy Blog comes in. It won’t let you give up on yourself.
This blog, I promise, will never fail to tell you that the fact that you are still alive and are able to read and understand proves that you still have high possibilities of success in life. That your dreams no matter how sky-high they might look right now are going to be reachable soon. I do not promise success, that is up to you to work hard and achieve. All I can promise is that this blog will take complete care that your hope tank is always filled, so that you can dream big and achieve greater.